"You Are A Piece of Shit, and I Can Prove it Mathematically."

"...but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit! Yeah. I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways."

Let's do some math regarding welfare:

So...1 out of 3 people are on welfare, which pays more than $8/Hr. jobs in 39 states apparently and pays more than $12/Hr. jobs in 6 states. My work ethic logic would say that lowering welfare checks to UNDER an $8/Hr. rate, we'll see how many motherfuckers get off their asses and contribute to the economy they've leeched off of. I'm not saying that everyone abuses welfare, but we'll get to that later.

At $8/Hr. working 40-hour weeks, you'd make $16,640 before taxes. Federal taxes in that bracket would equal $2,034.75. That's $1,838,536,960,000 gross income for all current welfare recipients if they worked an entry-level position, or $1.6 Trillion net income. The federal taxes alone would total $224,817,492,750, or 1.7 times what the government spending on welfare is in the below table.

If you're fucking and having kids on McDonald's paychecks, kill your fucking self or that baby, because you're not affording it. $16K a year is what a hard-working high-schooler or lazy burnout adult makes. I've been both, I can speak on it. Rent alone is $13,056 average annually, so you're honestly not doing shit with your life aside from sheltering yourself from the elements at $8/Hr. Even at $12/Hr. you're getting only the basic essentials of food and shelter, paying $3,282.75 in taxes and netting $21,677.25.

How can I still be against welfare when the numbers are so skewed against independant success? Because with ALL of these figures, it would actually cost $21,135 per recipient, or $2,335,185,015,000 total annually to maintain an average scraping-by American lifestyle, not including water, phone, license plate renewals, gas, etc. Even IF all these recipients were working $8/Hr., 40-hour weeks and paying in taxes, there would be a $495,648,055,000 deficit that the other two-thirds of the country would have to pick up, at the detriment of infrastructure and all the other conveniences our current tax system allows. That's an extra $4,485.95 EACH RECIPIENT would need to get by annually. This of course isn't accounting for Section 8 housing, food stamps or other entitlements.

Consequently, if all of these recipients made $12/Hr., there would actually be a nearly $60 Billion surplus AFTER taxes.

The obvious solution is to raise the minimum wage to $12/Hr., right? Well all that does is cause our inflation to rise in response.

The following video is highly educational as well as entertaining; it does a much better job of explaining banking, interest and taxes than I could ever hope:

The cynical asshole in me mutters that maybe I don't think your life is of value or consequence if it costs more to keep you alive than you're worth at entry-level wages. Pardon my brainwashing, still working on the kinks.

However I sorely doubt the validity of the welfare statistics tables' figures, because with the above numbers from the table, each welfare recipient is only getting $1,193.78 annually, or $49.74 every 1st and 15th of the month.

Keep in mind that I personally despise our current tax system and want less federal government involvement in the day-to-day lives of American citizenry. Keep in mind that I believe you have the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness regardless of who you are or what you do unless it infringes upon somebody else. THAT is why I have a problem with the current entitlement system. Two-thirds of the country is being forced to pick up the slack for the remaining third, that doesn't contribute to economic growth. That is a massively broken system which we need to address.

I understand that there are 322 Million Americans and only 121.41 Million of them are full-time employees. I understand that of these 322 Million Americans, 23.17% are 18 or younger. I understand out of the remaining 76.83%, there's a significant amount of seniors who may or may not be retiring. With only 121.41 Million jobs for 247,392,600 American workers, I understand why there's unemployment. I understand why 35.4% of the citizenry is on welfare.

It's not that I don't like people specifically because they're getting assistance. It's the perceived notion that someone has it easier, when I've been in the same situation. There's nothing easy about swallowing your pride for an unemployment check to pay your bills. Couple that with depression and a few drug habits bartered from the remaining balance on your card to numb the self-loathing, I'm intimately familiar with being trapped in that "pit of despair" state. There's a level of helplessness; just know that it gets better.

It took a lot of perseverance but I kicked my habits and went from unemployment to corporate manager. It was 4 years of loss, death, massive (to a 20-year-old) debt, relapses, failed relationships, strained friendships, drifting from my family and coming full-circle. We all need a swift kick in the ass sometimes.

I guess the only thing I truly understand is that we're all fucked.

One Love, One Finger

- Matt Dyer